i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
