her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
