I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
