I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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