ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
