Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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