YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
