We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
