i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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