I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
