i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
