Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
