Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He has the fingertips of a God
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
