you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
