It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
