i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
