Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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