Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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