we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
