is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
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