i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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