i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you traded sex for a burrito?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We are all done wearing pants today
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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