respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
