plz talk dirty to me
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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