What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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