I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
