I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
