i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
