i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
