Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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