and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
