She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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