I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
