Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I cut my penus on the lid.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
