Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
