Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
