If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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