a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
