My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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