at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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