what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
