Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
