oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
