I like to think it a success when the cops are called
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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