you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
