i don't plan on having that self control this summer
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Randomize
