Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
