i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
worst night to have a conscience
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
