help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Randomize
