I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
